you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
