And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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