Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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