Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
