remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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