Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
