No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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