i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize