help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
