seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
