We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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