you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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