I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
