I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
