dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
