So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
