I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
