my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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