i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
