Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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