and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
is that a dick in a sweater?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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