he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize