How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
