Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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