I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
