haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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