Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
