He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize