you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
