Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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