there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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