I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize