You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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