You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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