one might say we're banned from that church
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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