Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
