Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
