There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I need to wash the frat house off of me
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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