I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
