im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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