Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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