I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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