I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
