Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
