i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Randomize
