I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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