I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
