u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
