I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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