at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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