nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
