cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
