I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
