everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
