What a fucking waste of an outfit
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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