Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
