You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
