i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
