Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I supernannyed him into submission
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
