Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
