so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
