Non-Jews are for practice
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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