they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
